


i love you in the most heterosexual way.

by sanctify (pains)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: ADRIEN'S BROS ARE THERE FOR HIM, Boys Will Be Boys, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, because I love angst, inspired by alya's valentine's day post, the boys go out and spend vday together too, there IS some angst in the beginning, there's a lot of bromance in here, they're calling it palentine's day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 10:11:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22714402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pains/pseuds/sanctify
Summary: when the world gets tough, and times get hard, i will always love you, i'll be your bodyguard.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 47





	i love you in the most heterosexual way.

**Author's Note:**

> what's a valentine's day
> 
> romance?
> 
> the fuck is that
> 
> i only know **BROMANCE**
> 
> happy sonic movie release day

Adrien smiled wanly at the pictures on his Instagram feed. The girls all seemed to be having fun on Valentine’s day. (A _Gal_ entine’s event, heh. Smart one, Alya.)

His only knowledge of what one actually did on Valentine's day was what he saw on anime, but he was pretty sure France didn’t follow the whole ‘Valentine’s Day and White Day’ tradition that was such a common thing in the slice-of-life genres. His parents never really celebrated the event, seeing as his father was always in the States during the time, busy preparing for Fashion Week, that all he did was buy his mother something from Royce’. And every year, for as long as he could remember, until her disappearance, she’d say that _he_ was her Valentine. They’d build a pillow fort, load up a cheesy chick-flick, and then she’d share her chocolates with him, along with any other sweets she had asked Nathalie to procure for them. It was the only time he could eat as many sweets as he could without reprimand. That’s what Valentine’s Day meant for him. A time to enjoy sweets with his mother.

The only Valentine’s Day he celebrated without his mother, he was hypnotized by an Akuma into fighting Ladybug and almost dissolving her into nothing with an active Cataclysm. (He did have that anonymous Valentine though. He was still debating whether or not the letter came from Ladybug or Marinette, ignoring the part of him that said it didn’t matter who it was from, because dammit, he liked Ladybug, _okay?_ )

So, really, it’s not his fault that Valentine’s Day has been… soured for him, kind of. Then he remembers that a new magazine with his face on the covers and a number of spreads, modeling a new Valentine-themed line for _Gabriel_ , was set to release today. His mood definitely soured at that. He wasn’t going to be safe to head out alone for a while, not if he wanted a repeat of what happened when his bodyguard got Akumatized.

He sighed.

It was a Friday! Aside from a half-day in class tomorrow, he had no other obligations as his father and Nathalie were still in the States until next week! All his scheduled activities were put on-hold, no Akumas have attacked in a while and he and Ladybug were jittery with nervous tension. They didn’t know what Papillon was planning but they were both so used to a strong Akuma coming out after days of silence, that their fears were not unfounded.

Maybe he could go on a solo patrol tonight? He could also ask Ladybug to accompany him but… the thought that she might have plans today would only sour his mood even more if she did say she couldn’t go with him.

_What happened to letting her go, you loser?_ He sighed. Guess it was just him and Plagg tonight, again.

His phone buzzed in his hand, snapping him out from negative thoughts.

It was Nino.

Of course! Nino wasn’t doing anything right now, either. Seeing as his girlfriend was hanging out with the girls in their class along with Kagami and Ondine and whoever else they had invited along.

Maybe he and Nino could hang out?

Oh, wait. Nino was inviting him to a group chat.

“Who names a group chat _Palestine_?” He furrows an eyebrow in confusion. “Oh wait. That says _Palentines_. Haha, oops.” He accepts the invitation and finds himself in a flooded chatroom filled to the brim with messages from different accounts and oozing with testosterone.

* * *

**Adrien Agreste:** okay mind telling me what this is about?

 **DJ BUBS:** mec!!!!! 😔 pls tell ur buddy nino that ur free today

 **Adrien Agreste:** i am, actually! Why?

 **DJ BUBS:** _@everyone_ YOOOOOO 😤😤😤😤😤

 **TheBigDog:** yo agreste !! you hear what the girls are doin 2day ?

> _Adrien Agreste_ _has changed their nickname to_ _under house agreste_

**DJ BUBS:** dude no

 **shhhnakes:** hah nice

 **under house agreste:** yea i saw on mari and alya’s ig posts. Galentines?

 **smellywoof:** so we’re planning a guys’ day out today as well, and we thought to invite you

 **Max:** Seeing as your father and his assistant are not around, and will not be for awhile, I assumed that you’d be 87% free today.

 **TheBigDog:** palentines ! palentines ! palentines ! 

**dessinateur:** the name choice is so bad i thought it said ‘palestine’ at first.

 **under house agreste:** that’s what i thought too!!! (*・艸・)

 **shhhnakes:** where are we going anyway? do we have a plan already? if not, the houseboat is free. maman and juleka are both not around :)

 **DJ BUBS:** arcade arcade arcade

 **TheBigDog:** ARCADE ARCADE ARCADE

 **Max:** We still don’t know if Adrien will be allowed to leave the house, guys.

 **under house agreste:** gorilla says yes! 👌🙏👏

 **smellywoof:** NICE

 **under house agreste:** oh but i gotta be in disguise or something because a new magazine’s out and my… face is probably plastered all over paris again

 **shhhnakes:** [IMAGE_2020.02.14_VPRN_0001.jpg]

 **shhhnakes:** yeah it is

 **shhhnakes:** ngl it’s a very good look. red suits you a lot, adrien. v sexie

 **under house agreste:** omg luka not in front of everyone else 😝💕💞

 **shhhnakes:** 😏 so it’s okay when we’re alone? 😏

 **under house agreste:** 😳😳😳😳😳

 **DJ BUBS:** ok my homiesexuals stop being flirterers for ONE SEC

 **DJ BUBS:** adrien m’dude get ready man the cavalry’s comin to get ya

 **DJ BUBS:** where are we going anyway??? arcade? luka’s place???

 **smellywoof:** what about both

 **TheBigDog:** both sound good !!!

 **dessinateur:** i have nothing against both either. but i’ll have to leave early because i have something else going on as well… 

**DJ BUBS:** that’s fine, nath. still it wouldn’t hurt to invite them over too?

 **dessinateur:** well true, but he doesn’t really know most of you guys and he’s pretty shy so

 **TheBigDog:** thats ok dude! we’re not gonna force marc to come with ok

 **dessinateur:** thanks guys

 **Max:** Markov and I have detected quite a number of fans near your place, Adrien. We’ll have to go for stealth, guys.

 **TheBigDog:** roger that boss!

 **DJ BUBS:** oh man i’ve always wanted to break and enter a place

 **shhhnakes:** oh mood

 **dessinateur:** somehow, sending nino and kim as our stealth team is kind of… 

**Max:** Counterproductive? Trust me, they’re our best bet for this.

 **under house agreste:** this is kind of exciting!!

 **shhhnakes:** we’re busting you out of that tower, rapunzel.

 **under house agreste:** AND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT

 **TheBigDog:** AND IT’S LIKE THE FOG HAS LIFTED

 **DJ BUBS:** does this mean kim is eugene

 **TheBigDog:** p sure agreste can do the smoulder better than i can

 **smellywoof:** true

 **dessinateur:** true

 **shhhnakes:** found another ad

 **shhhnakes:** [IMAGE_2020.02.14_VPRN_0002.jpg]

 **shhhnakes:** absolutely stunning

 **under house agreste:** oh my gooood if you look into my eyes there you can tell im suffering

 **DJ BUBS:** hot even when in distress

 **shhhnakes:** forget the girls, adrien be my valentine

 **under house agreste:** im high maintenance are u ok w/ that m. couffaine

 **shhhnakes:** babey i’ll do anything 4 u <3

 **under house agreste:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Max:** Kim, Nino, I’m having Markov deactivate the security over at your location for a few minutes. Think you can get there safely without drawing attention from the fans?

 **DJ BUBS:** will do dude

 **dessinateur:** this feels like an agent 007 movie

 **shhhnakes:** adrien is the token damsel in distress slash love interest

 **under house agreste:** i mean, i’m pretty enough for the part

 **smellywoof:** whos james bond

 **dessinateur:** nino

 **shhhnakes:** definitely nino

 **DJ BUBS:** me

 **DJ BUBS:** going up

 **TheBigDog:** holy shit party crasher almsot saw us

 **under house agreste:** you mean wayhem?

 **DJ BUBS:** yeah him…….. phew. alright adrien, your james bond is right below your window

 **under house agreste:** i see you!! just a sec i gotta tell the gorilla i’m heading out in an unorthodox way

 **TheBigDog:** dude you have a garden at the back?!

 **Max:** Kim, stop exploring, you might trigger an alarm.

 **TheBigDog:** ok ok im back w/ nino

 **under house agreste:** hi im back and im omw down now

 **DJ BUBS:** … he just has rappelling gear in his room. you know what? i’m not even gonna question it. the rope we brought was for nothing wtf

 **dessinateur:** adrien is more james bond than nino is

 **smellywoof:** smh

 **shhhnakes:** next thing you know he’s actually chat noir or something

 **under house agreste:** haha no way. besides, chat noir and i have been seen in the same place already

 **Max:** Alright, Markov has deactivated the security on the gates near the fountain.

 **under house agreste:** thanks max! thank markov for me too!

 **shhhnakes:** i await your presence with bated breath <3

> _under house agreste_ _has changed their nickname to_ _RAPUNZEL_

**RAPUNZEL:** i’m coming eugene! <3

 **smellywoof:** i thought kim was eugene

 **dessinateur:** luka definitely has the voice to be eugene

> _shhhnakes _ _has changed their nickname to_ _ FLYNN RIDER  
> _

**FLYNN RIDER:** <3

* * *

Adrien happily posted a video of him and the guys over at The Liberty. It was a video of them all singing to “I’ve Got A Dream” from Tangled.

It gained a lot of traction very quickly. He almost got in trouble with his father over the phone because of it, but it was so worth it.

**_#ActualDisneyPrincessAdrien_ ** was a trending tag in Paris for a few hours.

It was, simply put, the best Valentine’s (ahem, Palentine’s) Day ever.


End file.
